My Personal Inspiration...

An old photo of my Dad & I when I was a little girl.


My Dad passed away on March 2, 2012 from a heart attack. Heart problems run in my family on both sides, I never realized how important health was until I lost my Dad. It hit home for me, it was too REAL. I miss him so much, & it made me realize that I want to be able to live longer for the people who love me.. My Dad was only 48 years old when he passed away. He didn't make it to his 49th birthday this May 2012. He left behind a good Wife (my Mom), 6 children(including yours truly), and so many people who loved him so much!! I stopped and thought deeply about this sudden & tragic loss of my Dad, all these months trying to readjust without my Dad took a lot out of me emotional, but I always remembered the good memories of my Dad and I know in my heart he would never ever want to see any of us sad & hurt.. I'm not going to lie, it still hurts, but with time & remembering all the good things my Dad taught me, I'm healing.. and I am getting stronger & stronger with each new day God gives me. I'm digressing again, but what I'm trying to say is that losing my Dad made me think about my LIFE, and made me take a good look at my "HEALTH." I want to be around for a while, and I want to still be here for all my family that love me, I want to be around for not just the good times, but to help my family get through the tough times in life. I want to be there for them. Not just emotionally present, but "still around" as in alive & kicking.. You may not appreciate your family right now, but know this... you think it will never happen to you, but I'm going to tell you right now.. sooner or later, it WILL. I'm not saying this to be brutal or mean, I would never intentionally hurt or be mean to anyone like that, I am telling you this right now, to teach you to APPRECIATE your family while they are still ALIVE! We do not realize just how blessed we truly are to have loved ones still around, and many times we do not take the time to truly APPRECIATE them & tell them how much you love & appreciate them while they're alive.. but we absolutely NEED TO! Tomorrow is not promised, when you wake up each morning, that is a gift from GOD! He's giving you another chance to live a MEANINGFUL life.. he has faith in YOU. What I'm trying to say really is, I never thought it would happen to me.. I thought & expected my parents to live FOREVER!! I've had it in the back of my mind that one day I "may" lose them, but that was my worst fear, and never tried to think much about it. That day happened, and I was fortunate enough to have the chance to tell my Dad that I loved him, one last time, during a phone conversation when I called my parents up for Valentine's day. I was lucky enough to have those 3 special words be the last thing I said to my Dad.. now, all of a sudden, like a flash of lightning bolt, and without a notice, he was taken from our lives so unexpectedly. I do not wish this on anyone, not even my worst enemies.


The message I want to convey here is, my Dad's life ended at a very young age of 48. I'm one of his 6 children that he left behind, and my Mom (who is the strongest woman I know).. and many people who loved and adored him. I wish he was still around to watch my youngest brother graduate from high school next week, on June 20th. I wish he was still here to watch the birth of his first Grandchild, which will be the first in my immediate family, his name will be Aiden Vicente, first child of my other brother (the eldest boy). I wish my Dad was able to see my brother Ben go off to his new life in the Army, and watch him graduate basic training. I wish he was alive still, to get to walk my 2 other sisters down the aisle. Although he will be able to be there in spirit, I wish he was still around physically. This is my message to YOU all out there, I want you to want to be around for the people that YOU LOVE!! I want you to be able to be there for YOUR MOM, YOUR DAD, YOUR HUSBAND, YOUR WIFE, YOUR BROTHER(s), YOUR SISTER(s), your family & friends who love you so dearly. It hurts to watch someone you love be buried, it hurt me to watch all my siblings & my Mom and family mourn over the loss of my Dad. That heart attack took my Dad away from us, physically but not in spirit. I know God has called him, and I'm starting to slowly accept that it was his time. I just wanted to share this with all of you, I hope you find that special inspiration and motivation to drive your fitness journey. Look for that deeper meaning behind getting healthy, that sexy body in the end is just a plus, look for that deeper inspiration to drive you to commit to this journey on a daily basis.


I have the old photo of my Dad up on my bulletin board, and look towards it whenever I'm exercising and want to GIVE UP. I look at it, think of what my Dad would tell me, and I'm motivated again... I'm doing this for his memory, I'm doing it for those who love me, but most of all I'm doing it for me. To be healthy. :)

My Dad's Story

I'm going to digress from the fitness aspect of this blog a little bit, and share a story with you. I have been good with my workouts, & eating habits, but since Father's Day is coming up, I have had a lot on my mind lately. Before I share this story, know that I am a very private person, and not used to sharing my personal stories & experiences but I need to release these feelings out somehow, and my outlet is through writing. I feel like my stories & experiences might resonate with someone, somewhere, out there.. hopefully it helps you figure out your life too.. and to overcome the grief of losing a loved one..

Here goes nothing.

Recently, I've found myself wanting to talk about my Dad, openly & honestly.. I need to release all this emotion inside, and I am ready to share with the world the story of "MY DAD," of how great of a man he was, even greater Father! I'm getting choked up & in tears as I write this, it's very difficult. I'm sorry in advanced if my thoughts are scattered but I need to do this, for my Dad. <3

On March 2nd, 2012, the world lost a very good man. My Dad, Vicente Atalig. I got the call on March 1st, by my brother & sister. We live in the states, so we're a day behind. I've missed the first couple of calls, so I called them back. It seemed urgent, as I saw various missed calls from both my brother & sister, the same times, multiple calls. I was worried. So I called, my sister answers the phone, she didn't beat around the bush... "Dad died." I couldn't hear anything more after that, I was shocked, confused, angry, hurt, sad.. That was my number one fear in the world, and it happened. Reality sunk in, and I was hysterical!! I kept telling her, "NO WAY, NO WAY!! Please tell me this is a joke." It was no joke. We both broke down in tears & sobbing hysterically like banshees. My whole world fell apart. I'm so grateful my husband held me tight in his arms, I can't even remember a word he said.. all I wanted to do was cry in his arms... and hope that I'd be able to wake up tomorrow, and all this would have been just a bad dream. It was not. It was all too much for me, I thought I've felt heartbreak before in my life, no... this is the worst heartbreak anyone could ever possibly feel, to lose one of your parents.. to lose someone so dear to your heart.. the man that gave me life, who taught me right from wrong, who taught me the value of being a good person, and hard work.. Gone. So suddenly.

So that same night my husband & I packed our bags, and were on the next flight out. First day back home, we attended my Dad's rosary at the church. All I could remember is that I couldn't stop crying when I heard the Techa' & the choir sing the Chamorro church songs and there was a small display table at the front of the church, two lit candles and a framed photo of my Dad. It made it all too real. My eyes filled with tears, and they kept rolling out one after another. Every note of those Chamorro church songs made my heart sink deeper & deeper into my chest.. it was too real, I kept telling myself if only I could just hear my Dad's voice, or laugh.. just ONE LAST TIME, instead of hearing all these Chamorro rosary songs which filled that church. When we got to visit my parent's house, all I could do was sit at our dining table.. thinking that it's all not real, my Dad will just walk through that door like he normally does.. with his big smile, and laugh. He didn't. My heart sank more, and more the longer I sat there and waited.. nothing. :(

I sat there, with my thoughts, with my happy childhood memories of my Dad. MY DAD WAS/IS THE BEST FATHER ANY CHILD COULD HAVE!!! I have nothing but happy, fond memories as a child. My Dad loved to farm, fish, and play cards! Growing up he would always take us to our farm, we had a big family fruit farm, tourists would come by, and my Dad would show them around and at the end of their visit, he would help prepare various fruits on a big green banana leaf for them to try out, fresh from our farm too. He would always save us a lot, my siblings & I were spoiled with fresh pineapples, star apple, papaya, coconuts.. just to name a few. My favorite was the fresh coconut juice, my Dad would use the machete' and cut out the side to make a spoon for us to use to scoop out the coconut meat. That was my favorite! :)

My Dad would also take us fishing at the docks, I remember we never had much money growing up, but my Dad was so creative, he couldn't buy us those fancy rod and wheel fishing poles, so he made us some out of bamboo. I remember my first catch, I was so excited it was moving and squirming around as I held the fishing line proudly to show my Dad!!! "Neni, that's a stone fish" he said, "we can't eat that, 'cause it's poisonous.." he took it off the string and threw it back into the water.

Another of my fondest memories, was of my Dad bringing home goodies after a business trip! He would travel a lot, and one of the places he went most often was to Japan. My siblings and I were always excited when Dad got home from a trip!! We would crowd by the door, he would be smothered in hugs then we'd give him that look like "So now where's the goodies??" haha! He would always bring us back little Japanese toys or Japanese candies & mochi rice cakes. I think that's how come I've grown to love "Asian" things and trinkets as an adult. :)

It's the simple things in life like that, that I remember now as a grown woman. Looking back at it now, it was the most special and important times of my life. My Dad was always a simple man, he lived his life modestly, putting my Mom and his children first. It was my Dad who taught me the value of hard work, and being a person of integrity. He sacrificed a lot to give us, his children a better life. He was a very wise man, someone I could always go to to seek good advice. The last advice he ever gave me was at my wedding last year in July, he stood up in front of everyone, thanked them all for coming, and shared some funny (and embarrassing stories), but also ended his speech with a few good words, he gave us all advice on LOVE.

My Dad's last advice to us was, "It's easy to love each other when times are good, it's when times get tough, is when your love needs to be the strongest."

It was a very bitter sweet moment to get to see my family back home again. Looking back at how hard life is back home, puts everything more into perspective in my life. Family has always been important, but losing my Dad makes me realize that tomorrow is not promised, and that we need to stay connected & communicate often with our loved ones near, and especially far away.. make time for them, because time is a precious thing.

To conclude this, my Dad was an amazing Father. He always sacrificed himself to put others first. What I've learned looking back at everything now, is that although we never had a lot of materialistic things, we had everything we needed to be happy. We had so much love & laughter, and a positive attitude to make the best out of anything we had. That is what matters the most.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY DAD.. We love you, hope there's internet in Heaven.


Love always, Your Daughter (Pauline)